Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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