addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
