remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dick very happy bro
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
