I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
