This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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