He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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