READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
