I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
