Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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