so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize