Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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(206): View more from Washington

a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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(512): View more from Texas

There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

(1-512): View more from Texas

Where are you?

(512): View more from Texas

Jimmy John's.

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(509): View more from Washington

i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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(906): View more from Michigan

Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Oh man

(248): View more from Michigan

I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.

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