it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
