Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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