You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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