real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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