I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
