even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
