i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
