just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
