I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
