You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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