She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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