I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
