I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
