Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
