i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
