At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Randomize
