I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
