i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize