my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
