you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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