New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
