He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
