Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize