Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
