Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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