So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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