Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
