I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're my little dorito
North Korea, Best Korea!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
