It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
