I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
