I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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