he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
