you guys were way drunker than both of me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
