it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
