I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just cropdusted the office
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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