So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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