He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
