so explain again why im purple
no
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
