I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
