Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
