I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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