This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
