I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
