The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
