I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
